Never Let Go
by TiliaofAnkh
Summary: Set during TLG - Artemis is dead and Holly can't let go. Rated T for character death, please read and review!:D
1. Chapter 1 - Flashbacks

**Hello, Artemis Fowl fandom!  
**

**This is my first AF fanfic, at least the first one I'm submitting - I'm a shameless Holly/Arty shipper, so if you don't like them, don't read it! :D **

**The story is set during TLG, after Artemis' death. **

**Enjoy! xxx**

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_Artemis fell._

"_NO!", Holly screamed, horrified, her heart bursting in her chest. She rushed to the boy who was laying in Butler's arms and threw herself over his body, sobbing. Through the blurred sight of her eyes, she saw his eyes were still open. A crystal blue one and a brown one. _This eye killed him. It's mine. I killed him. I killed Artemis.

_A sob escaped her throat and she gently closed his eyes with shaking fingers. Butler took her cold hands; he was shaking himself. "No, no, no ..." Holly closed her eyes while Butler repeated this word like a mantra. _

It can't be. Artemis Fowl never dies. He always has a plan to save himself. He can't be dead._ The elf tasted the salty tears on her face._ He lied to me. Paralyzed me.

He kissed me.

_Her face sank down again and her lips were shaking, as she pressed a kiss on his cold face._

**"_I love you, Artemis Fowl."_**

* * *

It was raining during the ceremony.

Time seemed to stand still as the coffin was led down into the ground and covered with mud. _Mudboy. _

_Now it finally makes sense._

Silent tears were running down her face, as Captain Holly Short stood on the green, wet grass beside Juliet, who was silently crying into a handkerchief.

This is the end of the brilliant Artemis Fowl, the second., Holly thought bitterly. We all have lost a friend. This time he won't come back.

But I wish he would.

A part of her still believed it was not true. Believed, Artemis wasn't dead and everything was just another trick of him. Fooling everyone. As always.

Holly felt a warm hand grabbing hers. She looked up and saw Juliet smiling a faint smile, squeezing her fragile hand lightly. The corners of Holly's mouth went up, slightly.

_Thank you._

The little family stood together, as if they could protect each other from the pain, all the sadness that was lingering inside them. Holly stepped closer. Angeline was wearing a long, dark gown; Artemis senior a black suit. The twins were pressed against them, hiding their faces in the fabric of Angeline's dress. Holly felt a new wave of guilt washing over her.

_It was my fault. It is my fault they lost their son. It is my fault Beck and Myles have to grow up without an older brother to play with, to learn from._

Angelina looked up; the tears were drying on her face. Her eyes met Holly. She gently loosened her husband's grip around her shoulder and slowly walked over to the elf.

"Holly", she greeted her. "Thank you for coming."

The elf gulped and looked down, as if Angeline had accused her of a crime.

Then she looked up and her son's blue eye was cutting Angeline like a knife. They were guilty and tired.

Then Holly began to speak. "I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry. Your ... your son was greatest man I ever knew." She had said 'man' - something Angeline didn't miss. She let out a short sob and whispered: "Thank you, Holly, dear. This means a lot to me."

Artemis' mother bent down and hugged Holly, who felt terrible in the arms of her friend's grieved mother.

"I know how he felt about you", Angeline said quietly. "And it wasn't your fault."

_**Yes, it was.**_

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**I hope you liked the first chapter! Is there going to be a Happy Ending for Holly? (Of course, we're talking about me ...) **

**Please review! :D **

**If you've got a question, just review or PM me! :)**


	2. Chapter 2 - Don't let go

**Here's chapter 2 for you, I hope you'll like it! :D**

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**Two months later**

Holly pressed her face into the cold pillow and sighed. He room was dark; she couldn't find any sleep. For days she had been laying awake, tossing around.

„_You sure you don't need a day off, Holly?", Trouble asked her, looking concerned. He had noticed her sad eyes and the thick lines under them. Holly sighed and turned around, upset._

„_I'm fine, Trouble!"_

„_You don't look like."_

_Holly stepped past him. „I'm checking for that goblin."_

Of course Holly wasn't _fine_. _You have been gone for too long now, Artemis,_ she thought, laying over her bed. She hadn't want to show it, at least in front of Trouble and Foaly, but deep inside she was broken. There was no-one she could be angry with, no-one she could tease, no-one she could secretly admire; no-one to call mudboy anymore. _I still can't believe he's dead. He was gone so many times but always, always held on and came back. Once, in that gorilla cage, I healed him. He had been half-dead, but he held on to life and came back to me. _

Holly remembered how happy she had been. She had tried to convince herself and everybody else the kiss was just caused by the hormones and their situation. But deep inside Holly knew better. _**I loved him. Still do.**_

* * *

The next day, Foaly looked up to see a totally worn-out Holly slumping around the corridor. He stepped closer. „Good morning, Holl-"

„Something super moving happened today I need to know?", Holly cut him off, rubbing her eyes. „No, nothing mayjor, just ..."

„Great."

„Holly?", Foaly asked carefully. Over the months he had learned to treat Holly like a raw egg. She was very explosive since Artemis' death. And despite that he would knock over all these secret rules he and Trouble had made.

„Yeah?"

„Um ... m-maybe you should ...", the centaur wriggled his hands nervously.

„Err...well, I don't know ..."

„What, Foaly?" Holly had turned around.

Foaly took a deep breath and brought her face closer to her, saying quietly: „Maybe it's time to let Artemis go."

Holly stared at him, speechless and for one moment Foaly thought she'd slap him, but she stood up, shaking and clutched her hands to fists.

„Let him go?! Let Artemis go? Then back in the time tunnle he didn't let me go either!"

„But ..."

„I CAN'T, OKAY?! I just_ can't,_ Foaly!"

Now Holly was crying. She tried to look at Foaly's lost face, but then she broke their eye-contact and stormed outside.

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**I hope you liked it and I also hope, Holly wasn't _too_ OOC in this one ...**

**Keep safe! xxx**


	3. Chapter 3 - The Breakdown

**A/N: Here I am with a very delayed chapter 3! It's rather short, though, thanks to real-life ... -.-**

**I don't own anything, though I wish I would ... ;)**

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It was raining now.

Holly landed on the wet, green grass and stumbled through the rain. Where was it? Her eyes were scanning the wide plain.

Then she saw it; it was a very simple, white stone. Holly stumbled slowly in front of it, as if she just had learned how to walk and looked at the engraved writing: _Artemis Fowl. Beloved son and brother._

_And friend, _Holly thought feverish. _He didn't even realize how dear he is to so many people ..._

The tears were still streaming down her face, mixing with the rain.

Holly took a deep, shaking breath, staring at the cold, wet stone. „Would you please stop it?", she whispered. „Would you please stop being dead?" Then, suddenanger came, flashing over her.

* * *

_'How ... how could you do this?'_

_'I'm sorry.'_

* * *

He had been so selfish, all this time ... and suddenly, he sacrifices himself for the human being, being aware of what is going to happen, leaving all his friends and his family behind.

And suddenly, all those questions that had been floating around in her mind for the last past months blurted out of her.

„_Why did you have to do this? Why did you have to be so ... **damn** selfless in the last minute? Why didn't you let me take your place?_"

A selfish thought occupied Holly's brain now. _And most important, he left **me** behind._

* * *

_'I was a broken boy and you fixed me. Thank you.'_

* * *

Suddenly, she felt a wave of anger washing over her, filling her completely. She twisted her hands to fist, and screamed through the roaring of the rain, completely out of mind, sobbing.

„I HATE YOU, ARTEMIS FOWL! I LOVE YOU AND I HATE YOU FOR THAT!"

Then she collapsed in front of the stone, sobbing in the cold darkness, where no-one could hear her.

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** A/N: What do you think? Should it end here, all sad and dramatic? Or should there be a last chapter, where everything turns out right again, with Artemis coming back? :D**


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